Friday, July 16, 2010

How Many Cans of Pringles Do I Have to Eat To Make The Pain Go Away?

Well today HH is back on the WW. Its been a rough coupl'a weeks. I literally ate everything and anything at all times of the day. Put on 20 lbs and ruined all my hard work but I’m going to start again with hopes of finding some sort of strength and discipline in me this time around. I hate the way that I feel like this. Like my stomach is actually resting on my thighs right now. My ass and tits jiggle like a drunk Asian girl trying to stand still with heels on.
Last week sucked. I had a couple panic attacks and pretty much haven’t left the house in days. First of all it’s too fucking hot! I'm sick of being so sweaty! Sweating like a blind lesbian at a fish market (HI-YO!) Who wants to be wet all the time, and breathing stagnant air? What a nightmare! These assholes in sun dresses and gladiator sandals all moist and veiny….give me a coupl'a wool sweaters and a fur any day. I always feel like I look so matte and polished in the winter months. My makeup and hair is always perfect...In the summer I look like Tammy Faye in the crematorium...(groan)
I'm feeling sort of back to my old self. Its weird re-reading my blog entries I realize what a predictable slut I am. Bone-Depression-Binge-Back Bone-Depression-Binge-Back. What a snooze. 
I had my tarot cards read yesterday and it made me feel much more positive whether you believe in that stuff or not. I guess I forget that things have a way of working out and there’s a time and alchemy for everything to come to place. Basically he said that everything will turn around in the Fall, as the weather changes so will my career and love life and I have a god given gift to bring laughter to the world. Isn't that sweet? I know he's right I’m just wonderful! So I was right! Nothing good comes from the summer, at least not for the doughy and hilarious...So enjoy it while it lasts you fucking rock hard sweaty whores! 

Here is what i did to myself. Its sick i know. I'm sick I have a sickness. 
BEFORE: I was almost there stomach was like a week away from being completely flat

AFTER: The saboteur rears her ugly head!