Black and White and bbq sauce all over....

You gotta think to yourself...what got me here? How did i gain 60 lbs in a year? Thats major stuff! Well i suppose i know. My anthropofobia (fear of people, arent i smart!?) Fat people protect themselves from the outside world with extra cushioning. Is that why black guys like me so much? They like to feel like "aint NO amount of fat bitch gon' git in the way a dis dick! GIT BACK HERE CRACKA!" Are black men emotional corkscrews? 


I gotta say...everywhere i go since i gained the weight, black guys have been on me like duct tape on ru pauls balls. They aint afraid all a this!...and guess what?  I didnt get this fat not being koo koo for koko puffs! 

Day two of weightwatchers went good i think. Well i went two points over. 


THE BREAKDOWN:
You see, i get 28 points a day. Every food has a points value so you can have an eclair dipped in drawn butter (what? purely hypothetical) if you wanted too but that would be 16 points. That would mean half of your day is shot on one glistening hot butter soaked pastry product. The good news is that you get an extra 35 points a week you can use or not use for anything you want. sort of like a wild card. Today i used 3 of those 35 on the fucking pathetic bowl of miso soup i had extra and a couple BITES YES BITES I ONLY HAD A COUPLE BITES AND PUT IT AWAY of fat free sugar free frozen yogurt.


AND FUCK YOU SKINNY PEOPLE!
I hate how naturally skinny people say "i fuckin hate fat people...i dont get it why dont they just like...uh... stop eating?" You know what! get off your fucking ignorant high horse I CANT STOP EATING CAUSE MY FATHER RAPED ME! OK? AND MY MOTHER JUST SAT THERE AND WATCHED! SHE DIDNT DO ANYTHING!! MOMMY JUST SAT THERE AND LET HIM DO IT! YOU ANOREXIC SANDLE WEARING QUEEF OF A HUMAN BEING! (pheww... i think i just piddled)

This is no way to live, writing down everything you eat and having a few bites of stuff, but sorry thats the fat mans reality. It will never not be a struggle, will never not be running through our heads...it will always be about portion control and being accountable for every bite that goes into your mouth.  


Ended up headlining at Broadway Comedy Club tonight so being on the stage made me feel REALLY happy and lemme tell ya...thats a high you dont get from a banana split.