Monday, April 5, 2010

The Before: 200 lbs

Join me

The past two years have been an emotional roller coaster. I loved and I lost, I had ups and I had downs, I ate and I gained. I am now embarking on a new chapter people!

Here at Halloway industries its go big or go home (as you can probably tell by my makeup.) I'm not the type to smoke one cigarette, I'm gonna chain smoke and pretend I'm Lucille ball in her final days. I'm not gonna have one drink, I'm gonna drink a bottle of bourbon, let my mustache grow out and pretend I'm Clark Gable. I'm not gonna do one line of blow, I'm gonna do an 8 ball off of a flaccid penis, which incidentally, is not as easy as it looks. I don't just shop, I bankrupt Madison avenue. I don't eat to feed my hunger i eat to coat the pain inside, and for too long my inner child has been smothered in alfredo sauce and she's mad pissed! On the flip side, if i do lose weight, i lose like 100 lbs in a month by eating boxes of laxatives and living on caffeine. Watta blast! (no pun intended)

This mentality of excess has been channeled in the wrong places for many many years. There has been a lot of struggle in my young life and i suppose being so eager to grow up and leave whatever crap i had to deal with in such a hurry manifested in developing bad excessive habits.
Now, I'm a little older, i packed a whole lot into just a few years, i feel like i got the rebellious teenage crack whore outta my system ( least the crack part) and now I'm ready to channel it towards life! I wanna be a success, i wanna be happy, i wanna be accepted, i wanna be rich and i wanna be SKINNY.

Being the fag that i am, I'm going to blog about my weight loss and my lifestyle shift and see what happens. I am using weight watchers because i know it works, i can still eat whatever i want and not feel really all that deprived if i just fit it into my points system. I know that i work best under structure too so, there ya go. I do wish they were paying me for this shit like Jennifer Hudson and that ginger puss Duchess but hey, wattryou gonna do.
Maybe I'll fail, maybe i wont but the point is that I'm not, nor will i ever, be taking shit seriously. My self deprecation is my moneymaker so hopefully i wont get TOO happy. I read somewhere once that Jayne Mansfield said something like "Its the most intelligent people who get depressed" (paraphrasing) so maybe I'm just REALLY smart!

So Join me if you like or if your interested and watch the progress and do it along with me if you want to or need to. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH LETS SHAKE IT OFF AND FUCKIN GO!!
Here we go kiddies! weeeeeeeeee!