Sunday, April 11, 2010

My Head Was Spinning

Step 2: I joined a gym but they have one requirement...moving (ha cha cha cha)

Hate gyms. Hate people who are addicted to "exercise". get a real addiction you pussy! 

SO! i went to spinning class which i happen to like because you are litterally locked in a room for 45 minutes and and forced to burn like 700 calories a pop. Its like sex with a cab driver... its quick, its sweaty, your crying, and afterwards you're kinda sorry you did it and you're glad its over. 
I walk into class and i sat on one of the bikes and the seat broke! The instructor changed it while screaming at a packed class to keep pedling. I get back on, and the second seat breaks! The teacher looks at me and says "You got to be kidding me!" into his Blonde Ambition Tour microphone headset . He changes it again, this time while the entire class, which was mostly made up of japs with diamond studs and flat stomachs and their gay lap dogs, were staring at me. Turns out I was the elephant in the room. I swear on a stack of torahs the seat broke a third time!!! The teacher said "listen  im really sorry im out of seats i'll tell the management they need to be screwed on tighter...why dont you go and run" I said "you bet your ass the management will hear about this! Someone could really get hurt" and stormed out feigning outrage! Either im heavier than i thought i was or i have a really muscular vagina. Lets hope its the latter.  

Went up and did the eliptical with Veruca Salt blasting on my ipod. 

Tomorrow is my weigh in day! We'll see if i lost anything!

Love, Harriet