Friday, June 18, 2010

I'm Trying Here!

Just got back from family overnight trip. My brother got sworn into the Maryland bar so we all went down to support him. Thank god there’s a lawyer in the family...with my mouth I’ll need one! Although I asked him what time it was and he sent me a bill!
This was a good trip and a bad trip for a lot of reasons and not only cause I learned that mescaline and mesculin are two different things.  It was good because I actually had a really good talk with my dad about my career and life and everything. I saw my brother accomplish something really huge and my dad was crying sitting next to me SO proud of the big oaf, and it made me want him to feel proud of me that way. Basically I brought up that there were unsavory things written about me on the internet and he told me. "Suzie! This is what you love to do! People are always gonna be nasty and talk shit, but you got a family and friends who love you and will always support you and you are meant to entertain. This is your dream and you'd be a fool to let that go cause of some asshole on the googles." Even though it sounded like a generic dad speech it actually sunk in and made me feel better! Go figure! The old man nailed it! First of all it was the first time my dad has EVER acknowledged what I do for a living and more than that made it feel like being an entertainer was, I dunno, a good idea?! He's a good pop and after all is said and done and all the bullshit curve balls that life has thrown at me I’m a pretty lucky gal. 
My mom was driving me crazy because she’s such a Pollyanna and thinks that life is perfect and full of light and good vibrations. My glasses are never rose colored and hers always are and sometimes that annoys the fuck out of me. (For a first hand look at the irritation I posted a link below of hour 3 of our road trip to Maryland together.) She's a good kid. She just wants me to be happy and tries the only way she knows how. Incessant affirmations that make the veins in my forehead pop out. 
Anyway, June being kind of slow, some things have started picking up, actually in the past 24 hours. There’s some big press and TV stuff that is happening on the way and a new agent, oddly enough in the wake of shit talk from meanies. I gotta take dads advice of tuning out the haters and reminding myself of what I do and why I do it and moms advice of protecting myself with seashell bellies and unicorn farts and just power the fuck through. What happens happens. I just wanna make some moneys doing my thang. Is that so much to ask?