Monday, April 19, 2010

Bamboozled by grogginess.

OK so i woke up at 7am to pee and weighed myself and i wasnt happy! I went back to sleep, and woke up at 11am and weighed in again and it seems i thought the 2 was a 5 and it turns out i actually lost one pound instead of gaining two as i had originally thought. woops

So this is what i wrote at 7am:

Weigh in day week 2. I gained 2 FUCKING LBS! I'M ANGRY AS A HORNET! >:O LOOK! LOOK AT THAT! THATS AN EMOTICON OF WHAT MY FACE LOOKS LIKE RIGHT NOW!  i don't understand! i could feel it too...last week i could actually feel myself getting thinner....this week i didn't and i was like i bet i gained! i'm 195 fucking lbs! i'm like a linebacker or a UFC fighter! Except POOR! Maybe i should move to Atlanta and marry an uppity black woman...oh god how did this happen!
Ok i need to calm down (but i'm really pissed) everyone keeps saying "you lose the most in your first week" OK that could very well be, but aren't you supposed to just go down from there? How did i gain? I followed the points exactly. I went grocery shopping this week i NEVER grocery shop!.... i thought that would make it better but maybe it didnt. Maybe i ate more salt this week? Maybe i swallowed an anvil and didnt realize? WTF? Going to hide under my covers now....How many calories does crying yourself to sleep burn?

Then before i went back to sleep i decided to jot down notes to write about when i woke up:

  • impatient aries nothing has been moving fast enough, weight/career too! 
  • i need to exersise more i s'pose, buut i HATE excersising
  • noone fucking ever returns my calls or emails.
  • i want muffins
  • if i was richer id be skinner
  • maybe i should wait till i have money. celebrities are gorgeous cause they have trainers make up artists liposuction yada yada yada

Wow! the anger! the drama! I weighed myself again and felt like such a twat!  I mean i lost 1 lb, which still isnt great but its better than gaining two and it means i lost a total of 8 lbs in two weeks which is pretty damn good! I'm used to losing like 40 lbs in 2 months and then i take a sip of water and gain 12 back! It says you're supposed to lose 1 to 2 lbs a week in order to lose it in a healthy fashion and have any chance in hell at keeping it off so i s'pose i'm on the right track. I am still impatient but its something i am working on. Breath bitch! BREAATHHH! 

Come see me do my stuff at Cornelia tonight....its a great lineup and if your in the area it might be never know!